In February I started journaling again because I was feeling so dry. Inspiration had trickled to the tiniest stream. That’s how I came to this Friday morning and nothing ready to publish here. In looking over the last few weeks, I see snippets of things to share but none of it makes a real article. I remember seeing a writing prompt to write about five things you have been thinking of lately and see if you can make them connect in some way. So on to the five things.

(Do not expect anything like the unselected journals of a popular fictional character. 😉)

1. Here I am at the page. I don’t feel like my work has much import. But they say God cares about little things. People need to eat, they need clean clothes and pleasant surroundings to come home to. People need something to read. I’m feeling dull and stupid today. I’m afraid you will feel that way too when you read this!
2. You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. Maybe truth is partly found in admitting I know so little of it.
3. I feel the weight of a burden this morning. It’s a grief I only share in, not my own personal grief. Yet it can feel suffocating, impossible to get out from under. With God nothing is impossible. But I’m not sure how God is working. I can’t see anything. Yet, why shouldn’t I carry my portion of this world’s hurt and trouble? “My Savior has taught me how to carry my load and travel life’s road, I’m living in sunlight now.” Let this burden draw us closer to You and to each other.
4. I am a little bit like Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment. Now, neglecting housework is nothing like murder, I know, but maybe I’m a special person who should do other stuff – create or study or whatever it is I’d rather do today instead keeping the role of homekeeper close to my heart. Show me what to do first and then keep me in line all day. Give me a proper balance and don’t let any wrong thoughts niggling “at my brain like a chick inside an egg.” I don’t want them to hatch, and be a cute tiny dragon that becomes unmanageable as it grows. Use me Lord to impart hope and courage into others — by a meal, clean clothes, a pleasant home and yes, even words when needed.
5. They say a messy house may be evidence of a messy inner life. But an uncommonly clean one could be evidence of OCD, which is a bit messy too. Who knows? Maybe none of us would claim to be satisfied with how clean our house is most days. There’s this undocumented standard of cleanliness (and aesthetics) that no one can quite articulate but we know it when we see it. Is there some metaphor for the Christian life here?

Conclusion: The truth is, sometimes life is dull and grief overwhelms me. But doing the next right thing and choosing to think on God’s faithfulness is also truth. These selected entries make me think it’s time to spring clean my home. And maybe it is a metaphor for Christian life. It feels good to shine God’s light into the corners of my heart and let them be cleaned. “Shine in my heart, Lord Jesus, Dispel each cloud and shadow, and take away my night.”

Albert Bierstadt, A Storm in the Rocky Mountains, Mt. Rosalie, 1866, oil on canvas

…and Five Small Joys

• A little grand daughter learning to smile.
• Pie. Pie is the best! I made this one yesterday. It’s actually a tart but close enough.
• A mini trampline to jump for joy.
• A clean bathroom
• Cooking through The Prarie Homestead Cookbook by Jill Winger

Wishing you all a happy day with much inspiration.

–Liz

There is a kind of beauty in imperfection. –Conrad Hall