December begins calmly for me most years. I usually expect it to stay that way and then am surprised when I get more stressed out as the weeks progress. Several years ago I noticed this trend and I have found three things that have helped me stay calm(er) right into the new year.

Peace begins very close to home, really right in our hearts. There are many good things to do in December, so many that we want to do, traditions everyone expects and new things to make this year special. With all the outward expectations of the ‘most wonderful time of the year’ and inward expectations of inspiration and feeling, it can be a bit tricky to navigate.

And maybe that’s just the way it is. Maybe that’s ok to sit with the ambiguousness or the uncertainty. We don’t have to have answers for everything. Mary pondered these things in her heart and I’m not sure what conclusions she came to.

Yet, it doesn’t hurt to simplify, either. So here is my reminder to myself and you.

Choose A Word

I am a word person. The right word makes all the difference. Synonyms are not interchangeable and some words spark inspiration more than others. I got this hint from Get Yourself Organized for Christmas by Kathy Lipp. She calls it a Christmas Mission Statement. I’ve heard others call it Christmas Intentions. Those sound a little grand and intimidating to come up with. So I simplified it even further to a Christmas Word (or two).

To find your word, ask yourself, How do I want Christmas to feel?

You don’t need to overthink it. Christmas comes again next year and you can choose another word. Use the first word that comes to mind. It helps to include a dictionary definition or your own definition.

One year I chose the word Goodwill. Goodwill means friendly, helpful, cooperative feelings or attitudes. That word ‘cooperative’ helped me a lot that year. When things came up that I wasn’t quite on board with, I would decide to be cooperative, since my word for the season was ‘goodwill’.

Another time I used Comfort and Joy. My definition was: to put at ease, inspire hope and delight, free passes to anyone having a hard time. (No judging in December) And for Joy: great pleasure, a warm quilt, a cozy book. And I had many opportunities to give free passes, just in my own mind. No one else, even my family, didn’t know my secret thoughts about giving free passes. And it made my Christmas simpler because I could just let people be who they were. I was free to do what I could to comfort or bring joy and then let it go.

This year I chose the words Unhurried and Sparkly. I was taking a walk yesterday looking for pine cones and my thoughts were going faster than my feet and somebody was waiting on me and I wasn’t sure if I really had time for this. Then I remembered my word and slowed everything down, especially my thoughts. And that’s when I noticed all the sparkly frost on every blade of grass and every branch and every pine cone, too.

I created a sparkly centerpiece with mercury glass votives and tea lights. I’ve been writing with a sparkly pen. And I told myself I didn’t have to have my Christmas letter sent by the fifth.

Words like this are just so much fun! And when you’re having fun you are less stressed. And the focus you get from a word makes every decision easier.

How do you want Christmas to feel this year?

Choose Three

Three things are easy to keep in mind at once. Three is not overwhelming. Three things and you can call it a success. Enough is a decision, not an amount, and I love having permission to call three enough.

Choose three elements for your decor. This year I got some battery candles to put in the windows. I think that will be my tradition from now on, and it can go well into January without feeling out of date. For years my niece and I (and now daughters-in-law and friends) have made paper snowflakes for our windows. These look great long past the new year too. I like some pine branches by the front door and on my table with a candle. So there’s candles, snowflakes and pine branches. I only need to store the candles and they fit in a shoebox.

Life doesn’t have to be complicated. A side benefit is it looks really classy when you limit your options.

Choose three kinds of wrapping paper. Or choose one (maybe brown kraft paper) and three options for embellishing the package.

Choose three treats to make. Just the most favorite best ones.

Choose three events to attend. It can be three a day, three a week, or three in the whole month– whatever suits your energy.

You get the idea.

You don’t have to limit yourself to three, if you don’t want to. It’s just that when you have those three done, you can quit if you want to. Anything else you get done is icing on the cake. Honestly, you don’t have to do any of these things, but we all feel nice when we live in tune with the season, and it’s a way to love our families, too.

A Christmas Manifesto

Several years ago I wrote a page describing the perfect Christmas. I didn’t realize how it would shape my expectations and activities every Christmas since. December seems so much easier. I know what to look for in stores, and it’s almost nothing except gifts and groceries. It is my intention to keep on using these words to inform and dictate what I do in December. I call it My Christmas Manifesto.

Manifesto: a written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives and views of the issuer.

This is my Christmas Manifesto:

Here is what makes the perfect Christmas holiday. I want the scent of cinnamon over everything. And a candle in every window. I want wonder and delight, comfort and joy. I think I want to remember what a gift Christmas is.

I love a good Christmas letter. I love putting the memories down to preserve them. I love inspiration, but I cannot sit and wait for it. I will start early and mail the letters as early as I can.

Christmas reading is important to me. There’s something about a Christmas devotional, true stories or novels that help to put me in the spirit. Be on the lookout for good ones all year.

I don’t have to have a new dress. If I have time and make one, fine, but it’s something I can forget about too.

I will keep the decor simple and natural. I don’t want to store much for next year. So pine branches and pine cones, wild rose branches with rose hips, and holly are what it mostly consists of. Then add yards of plaid ribbon, cinnamon cutouts, nuts in the shell, dried orange slices and cranberries. Our red cloth napkins elevate every meal in December. Most of these things can be tossed on the compost heap after the new year. There will be more next Christmas.

I will use brown kraft paper tied with twine or newspaper tied with red string or ribbons. (I could bag my groceries in the brown paper bags a few times and use those to wrap presents. It’s free.) Then tie on a piece of holly or a candy cane. I like to use gold stickers for the recipient’s initials or make tags out of old cards. I won’t make this complicated or collect a lot of things I need to store till next year.

We like Christmas food. English toffee, pepper nuts, gingerbread men, sesame seed cookies, cinnamon candy, and roasted almonds are our favorites. But I won’t make candy until the week of the school Christmas program, unless I really want to! Mexican and Italian meals can be decorated in red, green and white and always look festive. Soup and cinnamon bread is simple for busy times and warms our hearts. We also like bran muffins and streusel coffee cakes.

To me, Christmas is about people and atmosphere. It is special times at home or away. It is about traditions, keeping some things the same every year. I will not get stressed out, procrastinate, or complain about these things. They are blessings. Christmas is about showing love whether it’s in a welcoming home, a hot meal, gifts, or a carol on the frosty air. I will be at peace at Christmas time.

***

Every end of November, I reread this manifesto. Sometimes I make little changes in it to fit my current stage in life. And every time it helps me focus on the parts that matter to me.

I’m not sure how this will work if you are an over-achiever… But anytime we write our thoughts we learn things about ourselves. So think of it as information and use your good judgement. Maybe you will see your expectations are too high or too low. Maybe you will see that you are having pretty perfect Christmases already!

Write up your lovely holiday intentions. Use lots of ‘I will’ statements. How simple do you like to keep Christmas? Or what are you willing to go out of your way for? What would you include in your Christmas manifesto?

***

Bonus: Keep Your Christmas Stuff Together

If you feel like it, you can keep your word, three things and manifesto in a Christmas notebook. As you add to it from year to year, it will become a more useful and dear Christmas treasure. The first few years, there wasn’t much in my notebook. Now I’m not sure I could manage December without it. And just paging through it gets me excited to celebrate Christmas again.

My Christmas notebook includes:

• Names and addresses for Christmas cards
• A pocket in the front for return address labels and stamps
• My manifesto
• A calendar page of events if needed
• An evolving gift list, and a list of generic gifts to help generate ideas
• A possible timeline of things I do every year
• A list of hospitality supplies
• Recipes I like to make every year
• This year I plan to add a section for reflections after Christmas

And bonus #2: Plan for downtime as much as on time.

Books make great use of down time! I think you will enjoy the gentle ideas in these books.

These books might be a little hard to find, but a google search will find you a recording of each of them, read out loud for you. Take a small break and let these books inspire your thought.

It is all about words and the words we tell ourselves influence our feelings and thoughts. To summarize: choose one word, or three, or write a page. Don’t let your thoughts run away with themselves but choose them intentionally and on purpose. Before you get stressed!

We know peace and love, comfort and joy, because we know Jesus. And Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. Wishing you a happy December, with good feelings, good words and good will to all.

–Liz

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