To continue my topic of the last article.

Hospitality. You and I know what the Bible says, what Jesus did, its benefits to our spiritual and temporal natures. We know it takes action to be hospitable. Here are some ways to practice self-denial… (long pause in typewriter keys clicking)

To be honest, I don’t like that word. When somebody invites me, I don’t want to think they are practicing self-denial, or that my guests will see my self-denial in an evening spent at my house. Yet it is a self denial initially but one that brings a bigger blessing than the little bit of ‘sacrifice’ I make. Sometimes it’s impossibleto see this until I do it. Action clarifies the perspective and moves this idea from head knowledge to heart knowing.

As my husband says, if it was easy, everyone would do it all the time.

Adapt to this Season

Stages in life present particular blessing and limitations. It makes sense to work with reality, along with the seasons that come and go in most people’s lives.

Children, Projects, Health and More

Look around your home. Think about your daily activities. How would you describe your season? What are the special requirements of the family at this time?

Ages of children, number of children, financial, health, and other considerations have their effects on what it is possible to do and how we do it. These things are not excuses to not share our time and home with others, but they do alter our expectations.

If you are in the midst of building on, there will be the dust and tools. Some stages of life are transitions, like the summer we lived in a camper. If you work from home, (or away from home) give your home liberty to have the messes this creates. Allow these quirks make your home personal and see them as opportunities to keep creating beauty, to keep learning and growing in your skills. You could call them your lovely limitations. Seek inspiration from God to work with them and to show his strength in our weakness.

We have lived in a large house with seven bedrooms and 3 small children. We have lived in an old house with grade school children, a wood stove and messy parakeets. We have lived in a very small house with teenagers and all the light fixtures and door handles matched. Now we live in a shouse, with two out of three children gone from home. This current house is in process. I’m not sure which phase of the project we are on, but there’s still two by fours showing in one room. Guests or home folks don’t expect the good china and crystal — on a daily basis the shop noise of woodworking/car repair/ manufacturing seeps through the walls.

Through these stages and activities, the times of having company for meals waxed and waned. Yet the intention through it all is to be hospitable, to let our lives intersect with others, because we need each other.

Rhythms that Carry Us Through

In nature we expect things to repeat themselves in a regular fashion. The seasons come and go, the moon goes through it’s phases, the tides rise and fall on a daily basis. Whether we have planned them or not, our lives have some rhythms too. These are the daily or weekly habits that mark the beat of our days. Different seasons call for different rhythms, but here are a few to consider.

Take Care of the House

Doing a minimum of house cleaning each week keeps things current and life flowing more smoothly. It makes hospitality more possible because usually things just need a quick tidy. Of course, this depends on your season, but if you have children, you also have a small work force to employ.

No, all the renovations will not be done and everything perfect. If we waited for that, we would never have company. With diligence, you can enter the delight of creating beauty out of a mess and calm out of chaos.

A quick declutter and reorganization of key areas makes it easier to genuinely welcome others to our homes. This is a one time task and don’t overthing it. Just imagine your home with twice as many people in it for several hours. What might help or hinder movement, noise, or conversation flow?

The door and area around it are the first things your guests see when they come to your house. A light, a swept walk, clutter moved around the is always welcoming. Unless the front door has been neglected for months, this will take you moments. Or you can delegate this job to one of the children. A clean entry is the smile from your house to welcome you (and others).

Living rooms make a space for people to gather in. The arrangement of furniture can encourage (or hinders) meaningful conversation. Couches with deep seats are difficult for people with short legs. The practical purpose of throw pillows is to shorten the seat in these situations. Chairs can be arranged in a gentle U shape so the traffic doesn’t walk through the group and people can see each other’s faces. Houses often provide challenges to the intentional furniture arranger because of doorways, windows or heaters. Chairs don’t have to be against the wall. Try something creative. You can easily change it tomorrow if it doesn’t seem right.

Empty surfaces are beautiful, but I like this formula for decorating them: a tray or doily, a plant or book and a curiosity. These things can be great conversation starters, too.

Daily rhythms, like washing dishes, making beds and putting stuff away, are your friends. It’s always easier to do a little every day than leave it all for house cleaning day.

Cleaning house weekly is a helpful rhythm. It’s always my intention to do it on Wednesday. I don’t always get it done, but even every other week is a rhythm that works, with a few touch ups in between. I’ll share my Home Blessing, as Flylady calls it. It’s not a prescription for you, of course, just a starting point for ideas.

The intention is to clean house on a schedule and do a quick reset for company. I was afraid this would leave a lot of messy areas, but was amazed how one good cleaning a week works every time.

Home Blessing

1. Get ready— Sweep the front porch. Open a window. Put rugs in the washer and run it.
2. Start at the front door with vacuum cleaner and a feather duster. Set the room in order while vacuuming. Flourish the duster wherever needed. Keep moving through the main rooms like this. If I’m in a hurry, I skip the dusting and focus on the floors.
3. Move rugs to dryer, towels to washer.
4. ( Floors make the biggest difference and bother me the most when not tended. If time is limited, I’ve made the most difference I can make in an hour. That’s success in three steps. If there’s time, go on to #5.)
5. Back to front door with mop and bucket. Spot clean or wash the floors as needed, kitchen, bath everything.
6. Back to front door with window cleaner and tea towel. Clean all doors, cabinet windows, appliance fronts and mirrors, from front door to back door.
7. Sprinkle all the sinks and tubs with cleaner and scrub them.
8. Put clean rugs down, move towels to dryer. Put away the cleaners and tools.

Yay! The house is cleaned. This works best in a simplified home without a lot of clutter. But if your home is not there yet, and you only have time or energy for one task, choose the one that will make the biggest difference for you. When you feel good about your house, it is easier to feel good about company.

Warning: Most official house cleaning directions leave the floor to last. I tried that way for years and I am much happier doing it this way. Find a way that works for you and write it down. Do it on a regular schedule until it becomes easy. A large part of success is choosing a plan and sticking with it even when it gets boring.

A Signature Dish

Here we stand in the kitchen, the heart of the home. Everyone expects food along with the invitation. Eating keeps our hands busy while trying to navigate conversation. It is a pleasure to all our senses. Unless the smoke alarm goes.

Making food from scratch is unpredictable. I’m not a born cook, but I’m slowly trying to peel that label off. It takes more than lemon oil some days to remove its sticky residue. I may not cook like (insert anyone’s name) but I have fed my family mostly food I made myself for some years now. I can cook a little.

I am bound to stress out about concocting dishes I have never made before. Yet our daily fare isn’t always company worthy. When I thought about this, I wondered if it’s fair to not care much when it’s just us. If I upped my standards just a little, I would be getting practice for company every time I made food. When I looked at our favorite meals, I saw how I could upgrade a littel and use these same things for company. My fear of flops nearly disappeared. I have made ground beef tacos so many times, why not let it be good enough for company, too? Mom’s Best Brownies are the best because she’s made them many times and we’ve eaten them just as many.

Your signature dish does not need to be something exotic that nobody else makes. It’s just something you can rely on to give satisfactory results most of the time. The point of hospitality is the people, not the food.

Let’s give ourselves permission to not make every thing from scratch.

If your husband offers to run to the store, let him. Who says I need to to have it all on hand all the time and no extra money would be spent? That is unrealistic. He will likely have some things in the bags he brings home that I wouldn’t buy. But they will likely be easier than my idea. It is going to cost money. It’s worth it. We need a hospitality line in everyone’s budget.

Let’s bring back the Sunday roast. There’s a reason cooks all over the world put a roast in the oven Sunday morning. I’ve heard it’s too difficult, or too traditional, or too old-fashioned. There are difficult roast recipes with many steps but it’s also possible to put the meat in a roaster, add salt pepper and sliced onion and put it in the oven. Add potatoes and carrots just before you walk out the door. There’s nothing like coming home after church to the delicious smell of dinner ready.

Most holiday meals start with roasting some meat. Christmas dinner is a Sunday roast with special fixings. Thanksgiving and Easter dinners are a Sunday roast with their own special sides. Leftovers serve you later in the week: tacos, soup, salad or sandwich, so make plenty. The Sunday roast will never go out of style. And there’s the benefit of practice for hosting next Christmas.

When I create a pattern by repeating the same thing over, it becomes easier. Win for everybody! I know we love novelty, but at some point it will work against me. I reach that point pretty quickly so I try to stick with tried and true options.

Once you know your signature dish(es), you might have time to run out to the garden for a garnish. A plain everyday dish with a sprig of fresh herbs looks special. Parsley can grow on a windowsill. Sprouts will grow in a windowless kitchen without dirt, even. They can make your sandwich gourmet. Adding cloth napkins elevates the most humble meal. A bouquet or some interesting everyday items arranged on a tray can garnish the table.

Some tried and true ideas I like:

1. Soup and bread
2. Roast, potatoes, seasonal vegetable or salad
3. Tacos or anything Mexican
4. Make every day food (add a garnish for company, or don’t)
5. Stock a few easy things to add to meals (pickles are great, and ice cream)
6. Accept offers of help, or ask for help.
7. Keep it seasonal – cheaper, tastier, more nutritious.

Humility Will Simplify Everything

There’s a way for every host to enjoy hospitality. We don’t (and shouldn’t) all do it the same way. We can use our personalities for selfishness or service. How much can you let go of? How easy are you willing to make it? How important is hospitality, really?

The day company is coming over should be spent cooking, a quick house reset, and preparing your mind to be of service. Who said it had to be perfect? Letting guests know me will reveal a bit of my mess. How else do we get to know each other?

Be humble enough to cook whatever it is I know how to cook. Let your guests lead the way and talk about whatever they bring up. If your husband is a conversationalist, let him talk. When you disagree on the who, when, what of hospitality, have gentle thoughts about it. Everyone is on a journey and we are all learning as we go.

Contentment means I don’t get upset about dirt or messes, I deal with them. When I am content, the quirks in my home make it more interesting. Rose-colored glasses makes it a thing of beauty. Contentment means I am patient with the stages of life, the state of our finances, and my abilities to decorate.

Humility says this is who I really am and gives the guests permission to be themselves.

–Liz

To be a successful host, when guests arrive say, “At last.” When they leave say, “So soon?” – unknown

Read Hospitality Part 1